Support Groups and Counseling For Your Care Receiver

A support group could provide your care recipient with companionship and support from people with similar experiences. There are groups for persons affected by various illnesses such as Stroke, Parkinson's, and Hepatitis. For more about support groups, see Stage Two, section 3. .

Just as your care receiver's illness has caused you to have to deal with many painful emotions, it has caused many feelings for the care receiver. Former U. S. First Lady Rosalyn Carter, in her book, Helping Yourself Help Others, lists eight fears people coping with chronic illness may face:

• Fear of loss of control, including loss of plans that had been made for the future and inability to know from day to day what to expect.

• Fear of changed self-image, including feeling less attractive, defective, unlovable, and unable to earn a living.

• Fear of dependency, or changing from the head of the household or an independent person to someone dependent on the caregiver even for normally private functions such as toileting. Sometimes the person with the illness reacts by resisting assistance; sometimes, by becoming overly dependent or what some caregivers would call, "spoiled."

• Fear of stigma, or not feeling that you can share much with friends without having them pull back due to the nature of the illness. Aids, Alzheimer's, Schizophrenia, Parkinson's - many diseases are misunderstood by people, who may withdraw from their friend, especially in later stages of the disease.

• Fear of abandonment, or fear that your family will tire of the drudgery of constant care. The disease threatens a person's sense of security, intimacy with a marriage partner may be reduced, and a person may feel that he or she is a burden.

• Fear of expressing anger. Anger is a natural response when a person realizes he has done everything possible but cannot be cured of his disease or condition. Anger is also part of the grieving process. Feeling that it would not be acceptable to express anger or that expressing anger might lead to losing control, a person with a severe illness or injury may become depressed instead.

• Fear of isolation or losing friends and social opportunities. The person with the illness has to turn down and cannot return invitations, is invited less, and withdraws even further.

• Fear of death and sometimes an even greater fear of how one will live with the illness until death.

In addition to attending a support group, your care receiver may need counseling to deal with losses and fears. For more information on access to counseling, see Stage Three, section 1.

Next: Enjoyable Time Spent Together